Dear heart how are you today…?
What have filled you today? What is the most occupied you today? Is it remembrance of Him? or just merely worldly things? That’s why it seem cracked?..Allah ya Jabbar!
It is ok, say istighfar, take a deep breath.. let ‘them’ flow from the lids…
Listen dear heart, you are the most powerful organ that Allah has bestowed upon me. I have the responsibility to take care of you….
I know that today the good intention is being misunderstood badly… but it is not one’s capacity to direct other’s understanding and perception towards them…
I know that today the plan is being shattered…. but no one knows what is best for themselves, Allah is the best planner….
Don’t you know dear heart that you must not be occupied by the things that should not be there… ?
Just leave everything to Allah SWT. Put trust in Him.
I do love to quote this book all over again ❤
“…Remove the humiliation..The shadow which follows us…And say, those who follow His guidance do not suffer…” (Ahmad Bukhatir’s Nasheed : ‘Iqra’)
I couldn’t explain how much I love this beautiful Nasheed. ‘Iqra’, the most beautiful nasheed that I ever heard. Since the first time, until now, I find my hands wipe my eyes whilst my heart deep inside feels the spirit of faith, when listening to this Nasheed.
Tonight, on the seventeenth day of Ramadan, in this beautiful and blessed month, I find my self sit alone peacefully with a heart in turmoil along with this nasheed humming on my ears, and..
“…Remove the humiliation..The shadow which follows us…And say, those who follow His guidance do not suffer…” my eyelids couldn’t resist the feeling inside…I let ‘them’ fall.
A lecture that I love from Yasmin Mogahed, “The Attribute of Patience” suddenly recalled on my mind…I come to understand that”Sabr”,perseverance, is a profound ingredient to follow His guidance. It is something that we can’t just do…we need to strive in order to follow His guidance. Something that we believe, something that we hold as our principle, may don’t suit with what happen in our reality. Our society, our friends and even our family sometimes may not hold the same.
The turmoil inside leads me to ask myself…. Am I crossing His boundary? I started questioning my own happiness that has been happening recently. The happiness that should not stain the purity of my intention. The happiness that should not influence the important decision that I should make. Yes. the greatest test sometimes come in the form of happiness. May Allah always guide us all.
I will never be able to expect what Allah (SWT) had written for me. But I always put my trust on Him that He must have planned the best for me. Allah is Ar-Rahman Allah is Ar-Rahiim, The most gracious and The most merciful. He understands me more than I understand myself, He loves me more than I love my self…this is something that I try to penetrate deep into my heart.
“Oh, Allah I seek goodness from You because of your knowledge (of what is good for me) and I ask You to grant me the ability (to do what is best) because of Your power and I ask You (to grant me) of Your great favour, because You have power and I do not, and You know (what is best for me) and I do not, and You have full knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If You know that this matter is better for me with regards to my Deen, my worldly life, and the outcome of my affairs, destine it for me, and if You know that this matter is bad for me with regards to my Deen, my worldly life, and the outcome of my affairs, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and destine for me good wherever it may be and then make me pleased with it”
Marhabaan…Ramadan is in the air!
I feel sort of an excitement inside –something special that I always feel when Ramadan is about to come. The taraweeh prayer at the Masjid, suhoor, iftar, the reverberating taddarus from the Masjids, the wandering children playing ‘klotekan’ (a percussion random instrument made by bamboo and drums) to wake people up whole village house to house, and (I know this is not a good one) yeah, the rumble of fire crackers! Those are the things that made Ramadan definitely special.
Ramadan has become like an oasis month after eleven-months of hustle-bustle overloads regular activities. If we want to get the most out of this blessed month we need to prepare it.
Here, I compiled and listed 4 things that (I think) necessarily need to include in Ramadan preparation, which are not only spiritually but also physically. Some articles I read (which I will mention here) provided some amazing tips and guides, Masha Allah. Those are really helpful and worth applying!
Everyone can arrange their own Ramadan projects which are some spiritual goals that want to achieve during Ramadan. Having Ramadan projects written out is a first step that will boost our spirit of Ramadan. Here, I listed some that can be included for our Ramadan Project:
1. Build khusu’ in Salah
“The key to the prayer is the performance of ablution, the opening of the prayer is the exaltation of Allah (takbeer) and the closing of the prayer is the invocation of peace (tasleem)” . (Ibn. Majah).
Learn about ‘khusu’ and apply it
“It is the believers who are successful: those who are humble in their prayer….” (Q.S. Al-Mu’minun (23) : 1-2)
We can learn about and how to be khusu’ in our Salah from a book by Ibn Rajab Al-Hanbali, The Humility in Prayer.
2. Get closer to the Qur’an
Memorizing surah Al-Mulk
Try to memorize an ayah a day, so at the end of Ramadan, Insha Allah we can memorize the whole 30 Ayahs of the Surah.
Jazakallahu khairan sister Um Yusra Gilded Dunya for the article ‘Project Surah Mulk: Memorise it!’ which presenting 30 Days Surah Mulk Challenge. It is really a nice idea and a motivating way to memorize this surah.
Learn Quranic Arabic Words
Some time ago I came across a social media post from Islamic Experiences fanspage and I still saved that post until now. It’s a beautiful artwork by Tahir Chaudhry presenting 100 most frequent Quranic Arabic words in an understandable way which can help us to understand Qur’an better. It’s worth memorizing!
Improve Tajweed Understanding
A little note taken from the tajweed book about some particular rules which often being forgotten to hold along with when/to read a moment before reading the Qur’an. It’s just a simple way which hopefully will be helpful to read the Qur’an with the correct recitation.
3. Nafil prayers
It’s more likely need to put more effort for waking up at the last third of the night to perform Tahajjud prayer in regular days. In Ramadan we wake up for Suhoor so it can be effortless, Insha Allah. Take the chance to get closer to Allah at the last third of the night in this blessed month.
Taraweeh at the Masjid
Even though the Taraweeh prayer can be done at home Taraweeh at the Masjid has become one of acts of worship that makes Ramadan so special. People from elders until children, men and women, all come flocking to the Masjid for Taraweeh, this is the spirit, the beauty of Ramadan which so precious to be missed.
4. Adhkar and supplications
Forty Rabbana Dua
There are 40 beautiful du’as in the Qur’an which start with Rabbana (download the e-book). Some of them have become familiar as we had been taught at School and may be recited daily. In this Ramadan, try to recite at least one Rabbana du’a a day. I read a post from Gilded Dunya, that Umm Yusra high-lighted the dua’s in the Qur’an by marker and write the meanings next to. I think this is a good idea to apply which we can be reminded by the du’as when came across with those Ayahs whilst reading the Qur’an.
Subhanallah Alhamdulillah laa ilaha illaAllah Allahu akbar and Subhanallah wabihamdihi 100 times (Less than 10 minutes of worship for a mountain of rewards)
5. Improve Islamic knowledge
Take an Islamic online course
For ones who obtained degree or currently study in this field this is may be inapplicable, but as the one who don’t study in this field taking these courses is quite significant for me. Some free Islamic self-paced non-degree courses are available online, why not take this Ramadan to start seeking knowledge and deepen understanding in our deen with this beneficial resource?
Read at least an Islamic book during Ramadan
It doesn’t have to read a 300/400-pages-book completely. Just collected some selected books in a special Ramadan shelf/box or – if those are e-book –in a special folder which can be reached by hands and read whenever possible during random times along days of Ramadan.
6. Leave and avoid trivial things
Excessive social media use, idle talks, and TV.
Get caught up in idle talks, lounge around TV and social media will only soak up our time whereas that spare time actually can be invest on other beneficial acts/deeds which can brings rewards during Ramadan.
BE FIT AND WELL
Take a daily light exercise (early-morning stretching and walking)
Besides to maintain our health, having the plan to do exercise at the early-morning is also a way to avoid taking nap after Fajr prayer which is commonly happen at Ramadan. It should not a heavy exercise or running, but stretching and walking outside home at the park or yard for about 20-30 minutes and take a deep air at the morning is enough to help us feel fresh, fit, and positive to start our day instead of sleeping right after Fajr prayer and then waking up at mid-morning with the fatigue feeling. So, after eating Suhoor and perform Fajr prayer, spend time peacefully to read the Qur’an. Then, take a light exercise outside for 20-30 minutes.
Good Quality and Quantity of Sleep
Maintaining a good quality and quantity of sleep during Ramadan can be a challenge. It’s better to plan our sleep immediately after Taraweeh and wake up with following sleep cycles (I find an article-series from Productive Muslim which gives a practical guide to master our sleep during Ramadan is really helpful). Besides, to recover our lack of sleep we can take nap before and/or after dhuhur.
Proper healthy menu for Suhoor and Iftar
Having a proper healthy menu in Suhoor and Iftar each day is necessary to maintain our health as well as to support our body to keep being productive during Ramadan. It’s more likely can be easily obtained by preparing 30-days menu plan in advance.
Being fit and well (above) is the first step for being productive in this Ramadan. Besides, make schedule and a daily checklist for the Ramadan Projects as well as the daily activities which need to accustom during Ramadan.
Make a Journal
Recording those days in a special journal actually is not only can be applied in Ramadan but also in regular months which is important to track our healthy period cycles.
In Ramadan this journal will be important to help us count and remember our fasting debt. It also will remind us automatically to make up our fasting as soon as possible.
Keep doing the Ramadan projects which still can be able to do during period
Even though we skip our fasting, Salah and reading the Qur’an in this period we still can be able to do the other Ramadan projects that we planned and gain rewards from Allah (SWT) in this blessed month.
Those all are 4 things that (I think) necessarily need to include in Ramadan preparation. May Allah (SWT) make easy for all of us to do our best and get the most out of this blessed month. Ameen.
Ramadan Mubarak 🙂
Silent treatment is irritating. It hurts especially when it comes from the ones who are close enough to us and we most care about. Ignoring will certainly left the ones whom being ignored stuck with tons of questions.
Various reason lies behind that “ignoring” treatment. It might because of, either; anger, disappointment, bustle, or even (this is the silly one) without any reason. However, we cannot assume someone’s silent treatment towards us negatively without certain prior understanding. Reflecting on ourselves is necessary because we may find and then realize that the fault might be (apparently) in our sides.
We must have known that as a Muslim we should not ignore others for more than three days. The Prophet (PBUH) said “It is not permissible for a Muslim to have estranged relations with his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning the other way when they meet; the better of two is one who is the first to give a greeting”(Muslim)
I, personally, do not like this type of treating someone(s). Ignoring only will ruin a good relationship as it may develop negative thoughts and supposition. However, each one acts differently in dealing with certain type of matters. Therefore, being ignored can be inevitably happen to us. Then, how to deal with ‘silent treatment’?
I dealt, and I learned these;
Firstly, calm and reflect on yourself.
Yes, it is great if we can easily fathom the reason behind that treatment. However, sometimes we do not get, really do not have any idea and left in a puzzlement. Before fall into wanton assumptions, we should reflect on ourselves that we might done any mistake or uttered any unpleasant words unconsciously which may have hurt that person. If so, we must ask apologize. Then, a lesson learned. Keep in mind and make sure that those kind of acts and words (which caused their silent treatment towards us) will never be done and uttered anymore, especially to that particular person, lest it was just because every one perceives and reacts differently. Some people can be sensitive to certain words or acts even though for the others those are not bothering at all.
Give Some Time
…All of a sudden we got ignored, we reflected on ourselves tried to seek our mistake, but, still cannot figure it out. It feels like..that we are being ignored for no reason. Questions are bubbling in our mind as if urge to burst out…
We may prone to be hasty asking to who has given us that ‘silent treatment’ any sort of ‘why’ questions. However following such ’emotional inquiry’ is not a good idea.
Yes, it is understandable that we will probably get upset and be irritated badly. But, we should not make situation even worse by bombarding the one(s) who ignoring us with incessant questions emotionally. Giving some time is not a bad idea, just for calming down, not for hold it in a long time. Think positively, that the reason is might be they were too busy, or other personal problems.
‘Tit for Tat’ is not The Solution
To think about giving treatment same way is easy than to not. However, ‘tit for tat’ will not help the situation well-ended. Instead, it just will develop negative thoughts or even hatred in both sides. If no one willing to diminish their ego to initiate greeting or speaking, both will probably dwell in this situation for a coon’s age.
Do you want to sacrifice your relationship, sisterhood and fraternity for just might be (apparently) a mere oversight or misunderstanding? Open your arms widely, let them know that you care about them and they can communicate whenever they want. Taking the first initial communication will not shatter your ego. Instead, you are showing the mature way in dealing with them and solving the ‘bottle up problem’. Remember, “….the better of the two is one who is the first to give a greeting”(Muslim).
Quit the ‘Ego-game’
After all, if you finally have to realize that their silent treatment seems does not come to an end, your ‘open arms’ still cannot melt their coldness, then time for you to quit their ‘ego-game’. Quit does not mean cut off. It means that your arms still open for them. Greet, say Salam, but you quit from focusing on and being bothered by their silent treatment. Do not let it affect you and your attitude towards them. That immature treatment which being addressed towards you should not decline your kindness in treating them. “the best of people in his attitude towards others” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Silent treatment is not a good way to deal and solve problems. It is an immature way which more likely harm relationship. We should not use silent treatment as a sword to hurts others to defend and save our ego. After all we are one family, although if not bond in a kinship we are still sisters in Islam which supposed to be tied in a beautiful sisterhood.